当店のすぐそばでおこった事件。
http://headlines.yahoo.co.jp/hl?a=20060804-00000406-yom-soci
薬物でもやっていたのでしょうか?尋常ではありませんよ。
でね、私もある事件に巻き込まれたのですよ!実話です。
やられた。完全にやられました。
計画的犯行に巻き込まれたのだ。
本日、あの時間に、銀行に行ったのが運のつきでございました。
銀行ATMの機械に並んで順番待ちをしていました。
次が自分の番になりました。
ATMの機械は2台です。1列に並び、私が列の先頭のときです。
左には年のころ30台のいかにも主婦って感じの女性。
右側にはよれよれのシャツにスラックスをまとったスポーツ刈りのおっさん。
このおっさんが只者ではなかった。
ATM操作をしていたおっさんが振り向きました。年のころ40歳くらいだが
見るからに仕事の出来なさそうなオーラ。イメージはスポーツ刈りの江頭2:50です。
そして私と目が合った瞬間に、イヤラシイ笑みを浮かべたのです。
過去に男にナンパされた経験のある私は・・
(若い頃3回も!まぁ、ぼちぼちお話しますが・・)
まさか・・この親父?!!?と・・一歩後ずさり・・
まあ、私の勘違いでしょう。いくらなんでもこんな場所では
何も無いだろうし・・・・なんて考えていた
・・次の瞬間・・・
静まり返った空間に漂う悪魔の芳香・・・
・・くさッ!!
なんか・・・臭いぞ。タマゴとチーズの腐った臭い?
いや、これは・・・・・・・あれだ!
この異臭に皆が気が付いた瞬間!
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
・・・・・・・・・・・・ブフォッ=3・・・・・・・・・
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
高らかにATMコーナーに響く へ だ。
このおっさん 「放屁」 しやがった!っと思った時に、
おっさんは行動に出た!
おっさんは大きなリアクションで振り返り、驚きの表情の後、
キッ と俺をにらみやがった。
何?・・・・おいおい、チョッとまで!
放屁し、悪臭を漂わせた張本人はお前だ!
なのになぜ俺をにらむ!
振り返って謝る。
振り返って照れ笑い。
完全にシカト。
おっさんの選択肢は上記3つしかないはずだ。
なのに私のせいみたいに、にらむとは何事だ!!
・・・・・・・ぁ・・・・・・・・・!?!?・・・・・・・
!!!・・・・・ヤラレタ!!
あんたの術中に完全にはまったよ。
・・・・アンタ凄いよ。・・マイッタよ。
痛いほどです。
完全に感じます。
・・・・・・・・・・・・・感じますよ!
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・背中に冷たい視線を。
先ほどの放屁は、私がぶっ放したと・・
私より後ろの人たちは完全に私を疑っていますよ。
今更 「先ほどの放屁は俺じゃないよ~!!!」 なんて言い訳をしたところで
もう、だれも信用してくれないのがわかるほど
おっさんの計画は完璧に遂行されましたよ。
・・・・・・・見事だ。
おっさんよ、アンタ、ゴルゴ13をも超えたよ・・・・
・・・・・クソ!!あの笑みの意味はこれか!


- 投稿者:
- コメント:コメント (235)
- カテゴリー:日常関係
コメント
ラリってんぞぉ!マリファナかぁ!?ヽ(゜▽、゜)ノ
いやぁおっさんバラエティわかってますよ!もうそのATMにはいけませんね!
しかし、ガレージRの周りは事件が多い…祈祷師をスタッフに入れたほうがいいですね!
投稿者: 暇人 投稿日: 8/04
ね!普通じゃないですよ。どうなっているんだか・・・
しかし、おっさんにはやられましたよ。計画的ですよ。怒りを完全に突き抜けましたもの。
事件は最近多いですね・・・まぁ悪いことがあればいいこともあるでしょう・きっと!
投稿者: harada 投稿日: 8/04
あっはっはっは。もう一人で笑い転げましたよ、江頭は計画的密室完全犯罪ですね!
でも屁も人をリラックスさせる良い匂いだったらいいのになぁ~ 駄目かぁっ!
投稿者: 完全犯罪。 投稿日: 8/05
完全犯罪さま
アロマのおなら?いいですね~。
「ジャスミンの屁~深い眠りを誘う放屁を集めた至高の香りです。」みたいの!!売っていたら話のねたに絶対買います。
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Hands down, Apple's app store wins by a mile. It's a huge selection of all sorts of apps vs a rather sad selection of a handful for Zune. Microsoft has plans, especially in the realm of games, but I'm not sure I'd want to bet on the future if this aspect is important to you. The iPod is a much better choice in that case.
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Between me and my husband we've owned more MP3 players over the years than I can count, including Sansas, iRivers, iPods (classic & touch), the Ibiza Rhapsody, etc. But, the last few years I've settled down to one line of players. Why? Because I was happy to discover how well-designed and fun to use the underappreciated (and widely mocked) Zunes are.
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投稿者: timemobile 投稿日: 11/02
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投稿者: Strompreise Vergleich 投稿日: 11/02
If you're still on the fence: grab your favorite earphones, head down to a Best Buy and ask to plug them into a Zune then an iPod and see which one sounds better to you, and which interface makes you smile more. Then you'll know which is right for you.
投稿者: sms tarot 投稿日: 11/02
I'll gear this review to 2 types of people: current Zune owners who are considering an upgrade, and people trying to decide between a Zune and an iPod. (There are other players worth considering out there, like the Sony Walkman X, but I hope this gives you enough info to make an informed decision of the Zune vs players other than the iPod line as well.)
投稿者: videncia 投稿日: 11/02
I'll gear this review to 2 types of people: current Zune owners who are considering an upgrade, and people trying to decide between a Zune and an iPod. (There are other players worth considering out there, like the Sony Walkman X, but I hope this gives you enough info to make an informed decision of the Zune vs players other than the iPod line as well.)
投稿者: tarot 投稿日: 11/02
Apple now has Rhapsody as an app, which is a great start, but it is currently hampered by the inability to store locally on your iPod, and has a dismal 64kbps bit rate. If this changes, then it will somewhat negate this advantage for the Zune, but the 10 songs per month will still be a big plus in Zune Pass' favor.
投稿者: tarot 投稿日: 11/02
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投稿者: Elenor Manhart 投稿日: 11/02
Bioenergy is a difficult issue. Certainly, the experience of first generation biofuels leading to the destruction of Indonesian rainforest or the use of corn-based ethanol being linked to food riots in Mexico makes me wary of overreliance on imports. It's worth noting that the calculator's assumptions on bioenergy imports suggests that level 2 would only require half the fair share (on a per-capita basis) of global, exportable bioenergy to be imported.
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投稿者: digital camera lens review 投稿日: 11/02
Sorry for the huge review, but I'm really loving the new Zune, and hope this, as well as the excellent reviews some other people have written, will help you decide if it's the right choice for you.
投稿者: tarot visa 投稿日: 11/02
Zune and iPod: Most people compare the Zune to the Touch, but after seeing how slim and surprisingly small and light it is, I consider it to be a rather unique hybrid that combines qualities of both the Touch and the Nano. It's very colorful and lovely OLED screen is slightly smaller than the touch screen, but the player itself feels quite a bit smaller and lighter. It weighs about 2/3 as much, and is noticeably smaller in width and height, while being just a hair thicker.
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投稿者: Saul Schiermeier 投稿日: 11/02
The Zune concentrates on being a Portable Media Player. Not a web browser. Not a game machine. Maybe in the future it'll do even better in those areas, but for now it's a fantastic way to organize and listen to your music and videos, and is without peer in that regard. The iPod's strengths are its web browsing and apps. If those sound more compelling, perhaps it is your best choice.
投稿者: trabajos 投稿日: 11/02
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投稿者: Brain Holben 投稿日: 11/02
This is getting a bit more subjective, but I much prefer the Zune Marketplace. The interface is colorful, has more flair, and some cool features like 'Mixview' that let you quickly see related albums, songs, or other users related to what you're listening to. Clicking on one of those will center on that item, and another set of "neighbors" will come into view, allowing you to navigate around exploring by similar artists, songs, or users. Speaking of users, the Zune "Social" is also great fun, letting you find others with shared tastes and becoming friends with them. You then can listen to a playlist created based on an amalgamation of what all your friends are listening to, which is also enjoyable. Those concerned with privacy will be relieved to know you can prevent the public from seeing your personal listening habits if you so choose.
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投稿者: לייזר ירוק 投稿日: 11/03
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投稿者: telecharger winrar 投稿日: 11/03
Apple now has Rhapsody as an app, which is a great start, but it is currently hampered by the inability to store locally on your iPod, and has a dismal 64kbps bit rate. If this changes, then it will somewhat negate this advantage for the Zune, but the 10 songs per month will still be a big plus in Zune Pass' favor.
投稿者: tarot en catala 投稿日: 11/03
Zune and iPod: Most people compare the Zune to the Touch, but after seeing how slim and surprisingly small and light it is, I consider it to be a rather unique hybrid that combines qualities of both the Touch and the Nano. It's very colorful and lovely OLED screen is slightly smaller than the touch screen, but the player itself feels quite a bit smaller and lighter. It weighs about 2/3 as much, and is noticeably smaller in width and height, while being just a hair thicker.
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